Making Space for Joy – Allowing Light Back In

When you’re grieving, joy can feel like a foreign language—something you once spoke fluently, but now struggle to understand. You may find yourself smiling at a small moment, only to feel a wave of guilt crash over you. You may hear laughter and feel distant from it, unsure if you’re allowed to join in. Grief has a way of convincing us that if we feel joy, we must not be grieving deeply enough.

But here’s the truth: joy is not a betrayal. Joy is part of healing.

Grief and Joy Can Coexist

Grief doesn’t disappear when you laugh. It doesn’t vanish when you enjoy a warm meal, watch a beautiful sunset, or spend time with people you love. What it does is soften for a moment—enough to let light peek through.

And that light isn’t disloyal to your pain. It’s a sign that your heart, even while broken, is still alive.

Joy and grief are not opposites. They are companions. They often live side by side in the same breath. One moment you’re crying, the next you’re smiling through tears. This emotional whiplash isn’t wrong—it’s real. It’s what healing looks like.

Why Joy Feels Like a Risk

After loss, joy can feel dangerous. Like if you’re happy—even for a second—you’re forgetting the person you lost. Or worse, that others will think you’ve “moved on.”

But here’s the gentle reminder: you never stop loving them. A smile doesn’t erase your grief. A moment of peace doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring. They are not mutually exclusive.

Grief honors the love that was. Joy honors the life that continues. And both are sacred.

Letting the Light In—One Small Step at a Time

You don’t have to force joy. You don’t have to chase happiness. But you can make room for the small, quiet things that bring comfort:

• Listening to a song you’ve always loved

• Sitting in the sun with a cup of coffee

• Watching a funny movie without guilt

• Talking with a friend who makes you feel safe

• Creating something—a drawing, a garden, a poem—that gives you peace

Start small. Let joy return in whispers. Don’t rush it. Just notice it when it comes—and let it stay for as long as it wants.

You Deserve Joy

This is the part grief doesn’t always tell you: You still deserve joy. You still deserve beauty. You still deserve to live, to laugh, to hope.

Letting light back in isn’t letting go of your loved one. It’s allowing yourself to be whole again—even if “whole” looks different now.

Grief changes your heart, but it doesn’t cancel your right to joy. In fact, finding moments of joy may be the very thing that helps you keep going.

A Gentle Blessing

If today feels too heavy, that’s okay. But if a soft moment finds you—if something makes you smile, if laughter sneaks in—don’t push it away.

Receive it. Let it in. It doesn’t mean you’re forgetting.

It means you’re healing.

And healing, just like grief, takes time. Let joy be part of that time. Let it walk beside you. Let it remind you that life—your life—is still unfolding, and it’s okay to feel the sun on your face again.